I don't know

More than anything, this blog is for me...trying to really iron out my thoughts, beliefs, and opinions...hoping that I'll be able to really figure it all out as I try to articulate it.

Socrates is credited with having said, "The more I know, the more I know I don't know!" Right now I feel like there is so much that don't know...so does that mean that I actually know a lot?...I'm not sure.

DISCLAIMER: Before I get into the meat of this--my first real post, it is probably only fair that I explain where I'm going to be coming from for most of this. I have a psych degree, and those are the lenses through which I choose to view life-- emotional interactions, the meaning of all different aspects of the world in which we live...if that doesn't sound like your cup of tea, then I would not blame anyone for not reading any further. OH, and PLEASE do NOT make the mistake of confusing me with the theoretical orientations of conventional psychology...I'm sure that will turn into it's post somewhere down the line...

First thing that I don't understand: What is it about revenge that makes people think they will feel better? Let me explain where this one is coming from. We recently bought a TV, and in the last few weeks we've watched so many episodes of Law and Order that I have the formula for the show memorized and I can usually tell in the first 15 mins of the episode where it is going and who the bad guy is (pathetic, I know)...but as I've watched it I've seen this theme--almost everyone wants revenge on someone else, either it's a mother who wants revenge on the person who killed her daughter, or it a wife who wants revenge on her husband for cheating on her, or a businessman who wants revenge on an associate for somehow screwing him out of a butt-load of money...and all of these people are somehow convinced that revenge will make everything better.
WHY? This makes no sense to me. I've endured my fair share of challenges in life. I know what it's like to hurt and know that the hurt you feel is not your fault, but the result of someone else's choice (I don't really want to go into details, but I want to make sure that people understand that I'm talking about big-time stuff here)...and I think the last time that I dreamed about revenge I was 12. I'm not trying to paint myself as some wonderful person. I have to admit that even though I've never wanted to run anyone over with a truck, I wouldn't be heart-broken if someone else were to run over the foot of someone who hurt me...with a 16 wheeler.

But I can't figure out what it is that makes people think that they will feel better if they can just torture, shoot, or somehow injur the offending person or maim their life. I think that the best way to let go of something is to forgive...it's reeally hard to do, I know. In a few instances it has taken me 10 plus years to forgive some people...but finding the strength to do so can make someone the better person. You change, you grow, you mature, you find things that matter more than your pride...or whatever it is you think your revenge will set right. It wont bring someone back from the dead, it wont undo a spouse's cheating, it wont bring back all of the money you think you've lost...it wont change a thing. In the end all it amounts to is an emotional release for the person who believes they've been wounded (even at that, while some people truly have been wronged, others just have an over-developed sense of what they believe is due/owed to them). And there are a butt-load of emotional releases that are ten million times more effective. I don't even have any real way to wrap this up...its more of a cliff hanger, I guess. But I guess that's the point anyway--I don't know...I just plain don't know.