Bad Day

I has been a pretty awful day today, and I couldn't even begin to explain why--as far as I can tell there was no reason: I got off work early cuz there was nothing for me to do, I got to hang out with family tonight and that is always fun...and yet, somehow, for some dumb reason I'm still fighting tears.
And it's always on days like this that I miss a very dear friend. It was never a romantic relationship--he was married and had 2 children when I knew him. He was a grad-student in my program and helped me out so much!--he gave me tips for handling some of the professors in the department, helped me take a different look at some of the things I was learning in my classes, and opened my eyes up to new ways of viewing certain situations. And somehow he turned out to be the friend that I needed more than anything at that time in my life-- a time when I felt like there was no one else on this planet that I could talk to, and even if I did talk to them they would never understand. Then when Doug got home from his mission this friend got to know Doug and became a dear friend to both of us. A month before Doug and I got married he and his family moved out to another part of the country...and I haven't spoken to him since--I didn't even get to give him a wedding announcement (I missed him by 2 days). I wonder about him and how he is...I bet they have another child by now...I wonder if they had a little girl...I wonder what he would tell me about the things I'm facing now...I wonder what he would say about the way some of the things we used to talk about have evolved...
I always felt like he talked to me like I was his little sister...but then I think that he probably treated all his friends that way (like they were family)--cuz he is just a really great person like that, and none of this seemed to be different to him. But it was different to me--I'm the oldest child in my family, and feeling like I had a big brother (someone to talk to about the guy I was dating, or how mad I was at my roommates, or how big of a jerk my professor was, and get his advice and perspectives) meant the world to me...and I miss it. And there is something about a day like today--when I'm sad for some unknown reason--that makes me miss him more.