Wednesday, December 16, 2009

...what do you want me to say?...

Back in October things started going south at work. My hours were cut, as assistant to the head of HR I saw some of the most underhanded and unethical hr practices (ones that would make someone in HR 101 ask "What were they thinking? That's not legal!"), and I had some really bad, gut feelings about the intentions of my boss regarding my employment. The Tuesday before Thanksgiving I lost my job. The official word was that they had automated the phone system and no longer needed a receptionist, but there were a lot of politics involved in the decision. Through some work trainings I developed very close friendships with people that my boss has very bad feelings towards...and I'm thinking that since I had been out to lunch with her when she sat and bashed them for over an hour at a time, it really unnerved her that I had suddenly become very close to these men (who could fire her if they would just grow a pair).
As a result of the stress I have subsequently developed an ulcer
There are days where I learn a lot from the predicament in which I find myself. I have had some beautiful experiences in the Temple. I have had a lot of time for self examination and made some important "discoveries". I have been able to start re-establishing some really important habits in my life. I've been able to serve and spend time with those that I love very dearly. This experience has truly not been all bad. My apartment is consistently clean--almost weird. Even just figuring out how to learn from what appears to be a bad situation has been something that I consider a blessing. I have made this work for my good...for the most part...
...but this morning I woke up feeling so discouraged and beaten...whether I've learned from this or not, the fact is that I am still unemployed. I'm the one who is supporting us right now and I don't have a job. Holy $#!+...I've sent out what seems like hundreds of resumes and coverletters in response to craigslist postings and I haven't heard back from one of them. Why not? I have a college degree, my husband helped me put together my resume and letter of intent--so they are flawless, I have experience in wide range of industries...and I can't get an interview to save my life. What do I do now?
I apologize to the three of you who read my blog on a somewhat regular basis...the only reason I feel like I can be so negative is that I know that not many people are gonna see this. I know this will all be fine, and everything will work out somehow--I would just feel so much better if I knew how. I'll be able to pull myself together in the next couple of hours...
How cool/fitting is the new background?!--I love it!

3 comments:

Kris and Megan said...

i love the newbackground!! hang in there courtenay, sometimes when you feel like you're barely making it it's for a reason in the end. keep your chin up, something good is bound to come up!! miss you! did you know we moved?!

Amber and Dallin said...

I'm so sorry Court. I know a little about how you're feeling. I wish I knew how things were going to turn out for Dallin and I too. The future seems to have a lot of question marks in it. I love you though and miss you. I'll say a prayer for you :-) Things will work out for both of us.

ryguy said...

I love the lack of paragraphs!:)

Seriously, though, you'll get through this. You are one of the strongest people I know. I think of what you've been through in your life and I can't imagine any scenario that you wouldn't overcome.

And now with Douglas at your side heaven and earth would have to be torn asunder to stop you in your pursuit of excellence.